Major Depressive Disorder with Psychotic Features

I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with Psychotic features. I wasn’t really expecting to have “psychotic features” I was expecting that I’m Bipolar but I’m not.

I was pretty nervous going to the Psychiatrist because I know that I’m about to share my problems to a stranger. Once I talked to my Psychiatrist it was fine, I was fine, I was able to share everything.

Now I need to take antidepressants and antipsychotic….

next blog




Tragic involvement

You know when you love someone, when you reaally reaaaally love someone you would do anything to make that person stay or make that person happy even though you’re hurting inside.┬áBeing in love makes you stupid. I hate it.

I hate myself for loving someone who doesn’t deserve my love. ┬áSome of my friends admire me cause when I love someone, I will love that person with all my heart and I hate myself for that.


  1. He cheated on me twice.
  2. His family hates me. His mother and his brother insulted me, called me “disgusting” and oh! They didn’t call me by name. they call me “that girl
  3. He’s an asshole! He doesn’t message nor call me.
  4. He always ignores my messages.
  5. He’s calling me a bitch.
  6. He never gave me flowers!
  7. He’s a know-it-all.
  8. He doesn’t even say “sorry” even if it’s his fault!
  10. He always makes me cry. A.L.W.A.Y.S
  11. He doesn’t comfort me when I cry
  12. He hates when I cry
  13. He called me immature (eventhough he’s the immature one)

And goddamn it! I still love him!

i don’t think he still loves me.